Silent No More (part III of III)

01-29-2017Pastor's LetterFr. Don Kline, V.F.

Sparing Others
David
Wisconsin, United States

I was involved with a woman who was separated from her husband while in the Navy. I grew up with an alcoholic father and a mother who never hugged me as a child - so I was very confused between sex and love.

Shamefully, I knew I would never marry the woman who I would encourage to abort my children. I wanted to be a good father (unlike my drunk father) but just not at that time or with that woman - I had a lot of living to do. I was so selfish, knowing in my heart it was wrong, but telling myself it was legal. I convinced her to do something she didn't want to do and will forever be sorry to her as well. She came to me sometime later and simply asked for money to pay for a 2nd abortion - the quicker we took care of it the less we would think about it, I told myself.

Sparing Others
David
Wisconsin, United States

I was involved with a woman who was separated from her husband while in the Navy. I grew up with an alcoholic father and a mother who never hugged me as a child - so I was very confused between sex and love.

Shamefully, I knew I would never marry the woman who I would encourage to abort my children. I wanted to be a good father (unlike my drunk father) but just not at that time or with that woman - I had a lot of living to do. I was so selfish, knowing in my heart it was wrong, but telling myself it was legal. I convinced her to do something she didn't want to do and will forever be sorry to her as well. She came to me sometime later and simply asked for money to pay for a 2nd abortion - the quicker we took care of it the less we would think about it, I told myself.

Several years later I ended up in the psychiatric ward of a Naval Hospital. I got out, re-energized to live out my Christian faith, against which I struggled with various addictions - mostly sex but money, gambling, and drinking were also my main ones. I spent lots of money on counseling, never really addressing the abortions until I told a Christian counselor, who basically said that I was forgiven and to just move on.

I married and raised three great kids. I sent them all to Christian schools, not wanting them to make the bad decisions I did. I went to Forgiven and Set Free and had an experience that really triggered me into figuring out what was causing all the chaos in my life and my continued struggles with bad habits, while continually thinking that some job or location would make everything better. It would only be a trip to a Bible Camp that focused on deliverance that would finally give me insight into what was haunting me all these years. It is still a battle that I fight daily, but Jesus has delivered me from a lot of bad habits and anger issues.

I will be Silent No More, as that which is brought out of the darkness can be healed by God's touch. I want to spare anyone the pain that I have experienced.

Still Feel Shame
Adrienne
Ohio, United States

I wanted my baby but had an abortion because I was on the verge of being evicted, a single mom of a five and two year old, and the father made it clear he did not want the baby. We weren't in a committed relationship, and I felt like I would hinder his future if I kept it.

At the clinic they pretended to care and say it was about "women's rights.” I went to the first appointment with him by my side, had an ultrasound, and saw my 10 week old baby's heartbeat. I tried to act so strong, but on the inside I was so devastated.

A week later I went back for the procedure, riding down the street, not looking at the protesters’ signs. As we entered the protesters screamed and begged me not to go in, but the father pushed me along, saying that they were crazy. But they were speaking the truth. I was sad but still went through with it.

After he paid for the abortion they took me into a procedure room and told me to undress. I was then sedated and only remember the nurse rubbing my hand and glimpses of the doctor’s face. They put me on my feet and walked me to the recovery room. There I started to feel empty, because I realized that I killed my baby because everyone in my life thought it was best.

I have been battling depression since and cry all the time. I'm still dating the father, but I secretly hate what he made me do. I'm currently finding forgiveness through praying to God. I still feel shame because it’s still fresh, but I am silent no more.

Ya No Callo Mas!

Senti que Parte de mi Alma Murio
Christina
Arizona, United States

Mi historia comiensa el dia en que yo desidi ir a la clinica de Planned parent hood... Ayi me arancaron mi corazon, mi alma, todo mi ser.. Porque al instante en que mataron a mi bebe senti que parte de mi alma murio con mi bebe Yo y al igual que mi familia vivianos en la oscuridad por muchos anos despues de ese dia terrible.. Tan doloroso fue que me sentia sucia abergonsada pense que Dios nunca me iba a perdonar quise enterar para nunca saber el dano que yo avia echo.. No me podria perdonar mi corazon estaba roto y lleno de coraje.. Dolor, odio.. No podia vivir con migo misma! A mi marido y a mi nos acusaba de ser asesinos.. Peliabamos mucho.. Hasta que un dia Dios mando a mi querida amiga Patricia Y me enseno que Diosito nos avia perdonado pero yo necesitaba sanar para poder perdonarme a mi misma y a mi esposo.. Nos envito a Rachel's vineyard y ayi nos encontramos a nuestro padre Dios con su madresita la virgensita y el espiritu santo! Solo asi es como pude aceptar la realidad que yo al igual que mi familia si podrianos tener Paz en nuestra vidas.

Ilaga en mi Corazon
Judith
Arizona, United States

Escuche rumores que el aborto no es Bueno, En mi Corazon lo sentia pero , sentia que era malo.

De chica siempre quise ser obediente pero no lo logre, deseaba ser el orgullo de mis padres, pero les falle. Crei estar enamorada a mis 16 anos. Quede embarazada alos 17, muy emosionada pero tambien con miedo,llegaron pensamientos de aborto, entrente mi miedo y tube unas cuatas hermosas que llegaron a ser una luz para mi familia. Ambos inmaduros el padre de ellas y yo, sali embarazada por segunda vez. En ese momento el pensamiento de aborto regreso, estando en una relacion inesperta con muchos problemas,como iva a traer a un bebe indefenzo a sufrir asi pensaba. Pero no gano ese penzamiento y nacio un baroncito que nesesitaba el carino de su mamy Luis Angel. Yo segui ignorando que me podia pasar de nuevo y sin penzar que alos 6 meses que nacio luicito me entero que estoy embarazada de nuevo , ese penzamiento llego aun mas fuerte a tocar mi puerta, pero algo dentro de mi no lo dejo entrar. Tube a una hija maravillosa karina que me a ensenado tanto, apesar de que no escucha bien, eso no le inpide en absoluto, es una nina muy independiente y valiente.

Despues de Karina, segui penzando que era intocable que no me iva a pasar la relacion seguia mal, pero de nuevo Sali embarazada 2 veces mas. ya con 4 hijos con que cara iva a ir con mis padres apunto de separarme y embarazada, eso no era aceptado en mi familia. Llegaron 2 embarazos mas uno fue esta vez le habri la puerta a el aborto , penzando que era lo mejor…

Desde el primer aborto senti que Sali de ese lugar sin alma, llegaron momentos que ya no queria vivir.
Hoy vivo con una llaga en mi corazon porque les quite a mis hijos la oportunidad de vivir, a mi familia la oportunidad de conoserlos y amarlos y a el mundo toda una generacion talvez un doctor, un abogado o un sacerdote.

Buscaba apollo y queria remediar mi dolor, encontre el Vinedo de raquel especial para mi, ahi senti el perdon de Dios y de mis hijos.

Hoy trabajo para ayudarles alas personas que como yo, tomaron una decision que les marco su vida, deseo llebar ese mensaje que Dios me dejo a mi. Que no importa que aiga echo que el me ama que mis hijos me aman, mi meta es dar lo mejor de mi y llegar a el cielo adonde ellos me esperan.
Y por eso estoy aqui para que no mas silencio.